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Back to School Advice for Parents

Philly students at public and charter schools returned to school before Labor Day this year. Back to school is not only an adjustment for most students; it’s also a transition time for city parents, too.

How do you oversee your kids’ homework and weekly schedule of activities? I asked two city parents how they manage this in addition to their work schedule.

Laura, a working mom of three living in Fishtown, agrees that adjusting to the back to school mayhem is sometimes just as difficult for parents, as it is for the kids. One thing she has learned from experience is to slowly get back into a routine, in an attempt to minimize the chaos. “My kids prefer to finish their homework as soon as possible, in order to relax and wind down in the evenings. This works well, as I prepare dinner while they get their homework out of the way,” says Laura. “We all sit in the kitchen together so that they can ask questions while I cook. By the time they are finished their homework, it is time to eat.”

Laura says they make it a priority to eat together as a family as often as possible. This is when the five squeeze in a majority of their “together” time. It is not an easy task, as they have to forego some activities, events, etc., but to them, it is crucial, so they just make it happen.

This leads to a second piece of advice, which is to limit extracurricular activities. Laura has three highly active children whose desires to participate in different activities, clubs and sports changes all the time. “We signed up for cheerleading and my daughter suddenly developed a strong desire to also take up sewing. I learned early in the game, that it is wise to limit the amount of activities they are each allowed to participate in to one per child per school year,” says Laura.

In families with multiple children, it is almost impossible to fit more than three activities into the weekly routine. Laura thinks there is just not enough time. More importantly, kids need down time and moms need their sanity.

Limit your children’s activities to what is manageable

I agree that you have to limit your children’s activities as there is only so much time in a day and week. My youngest loves gymnastics yet now that she is on a year-long travel team, she does not have time to participate in both sports.

It’s also important to have some support system in your neighborhood especially if your family is not local. Over the summer, I asked two local moms to pick up my kids from summer camp so I could travel north to visit a family member who was in the hospital. Since I’ve known these two moms for years now, I could trust my kids with them until my husband could pick them up. This eased my stress given my relative’s health condition and not being nearby to help.

One thing is for certain – you can’t be in two places at once. So this year, when my kids have two games at the same time, I am confident I can text another parent to drive them to and from the game if need be. Utilize carpools when possible. I’ve had a weekly carpool with another Mom for four years now. I drop her daughter at CCD and she drives my oldest home. Over the course of a year, this saves a tremendous amount of time. For working parents, especially those who are self-employed, time is money.

Establish a routine and stick with it

Tricia is a working mom with two kids in the Bella Vista area. It’s often tough for her to stay on top of all their activities as well as her own obligations. In order to maintain some semblance of order in her household, here are some tasks that she does to help:

Night before:
– School bags are packed
– Uniforms/outfits are picked out
– Any part of lunches that can be prepped ahead of time are
– Showers

Daily:
– Tricia has a write on/wipe off calendar and assigns a different color marker for each family member. All activities and appointments are written on this board.
– School bags and lunch boxes go in the same place after school.
– Papers she has to sign/read are placed on her placemat on the dinner table.
– Homework is to be completed before dinner unless an activity has them out of the house.
– No TV or toys in the morning until each kid is completely ready for school.
– They set timers for the kids to know when they need to leave.
– The crock pot/instant pot is a huge help with meals.

Weekly:
– School uniform laundry is done once a week to ensure we have enough for the week.
– They have enough uniform components to get them through the week without having to do laundry more than once.
– Meals are tentatively planned over the weekend and food shopping occurs on Sunday nights – completed by Dad.
– One food shop for perishables one day a week occurs as well.
– One night a week they do “fend for yourself” for dinner– either leftovers or something quick (smoothies, grilled cheese, cheese and crackers, mac and cheese).

Since Tricia is the keeper of the appointments, laundry person, meal planner and prep person and organizer, she finds that she has to have a routine and stick with it. “Regardless of my craziness, I try to keep the kids on the schedule regarding dinner, reading and bed time. To stream line our bedtime routine both kids go up at the same time,” she adds. “My little guy gets stories while my older daughter gets herself and her uniform ready. Once my little guy is in bed I read to my older; once we are finished she reads to herself while I get lunches and my own work stuff ready. Then it’s off to bed for her. I try to get as much stuff checked off our list the evening before.”

Image: FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Cultivating Friendships Through Your Children’s School

What does the word family mean to you? On my school drop-offs and pick-ups, I notice many grandparents doing that role. How lucky for those kids to have their grandparents present on a daily basis, and for the parents to have assistance!

The other day I was looking through pictures from a year ago and realized many of my friendships were with mothers from my neighborhood and moms of my kids’ friends from their school. I think of their school in many ways as a “family”.

When my kids first started school, I had no idea who to list as an emergency contact besides my spouse. With no extended family in the area, we were at a loss in that area.

Over the years, I’ve asked other moms, “Can I list you as an emergency contact?” They’ve said yes, fortunately.

After over ten years in Philly, I feel like there is a network of other moms who I can turn to if I needed help. If you don’t have family in your area, what do you do?

I’ve worked out carpools with other moms when logistically it made sense rather than spinning my wheels.

As I looked through my photos I realized I’m part of a school family and would feel perfectly content if my children stay at the school until 8th grade.

I am grateful for getting to know these mothers through car pools, birthday parties, class trips, etc. We all want what’s best for our children.

Do you feel you are part of a school community?

Image courtesy of Pixabay

Five Ways to Master the Mommy Track

Years ago, I gave a keynote address for NY Mom’s World in Westchester, New York entitled “Five Ways to Master the Mommy Track” to promote my book for working mothers. I thought the pointers were worth sharing as a blog post. Here are the points, edited to be applicable to 2017:

  • Don’t overstress yourself when times are tough. Many women nationwide are afraid of losing their job or struggling to find work and concerned about their family’s financial situation. Career moms should realize that millions of others are experiencing the same feelings. The events happening today – job loss or an uncertain work status — will turn around in the future.
  • Don’t be so preoccupied with work or your career that you miss out on quality time with your kids. Ditch the smart phone for an hour or two each weekday so you can play with your kids or read to them. Limit the amount of TV they watch, and strive for quality interactions. Make the weekends extra special—take them on family outings to local parks, museums or excursions. Ask them what is going on at school, and they will tell you. Evaluate their current daycare or preschool program to make sure it’s the best fit for them.
  • To avoid burnout, women can communicate their needs to others by letting their spouse or partner and family members know what they need. This could be asking that groceries be purchased and put away, dinner be started, toys picked up, laundry folded, and so forth. Instead of reacting to unmet needs, moms can be proactive by expressing their needs from the start. When their needs are met, there is less exasperation. If other family members are local, ask them if they have time to assist, perhaps via school drop-offs or pick-ups and babysitting as needed.
  • How can mothers can take their careers to the next level–even with active home lives? Flex time is paramount so moms can be part of their kids’ activities. Women can ask their current employer for a change in their schedule–whether that be the option of telecommuting, working flexible hours, working a compressed workweek, or going part-time. They can build a solid case for changing their schedule and see if their boss will allow some flexibility. If not, then perhaps it’s time to find a job that allows flexible work options.       
  • Career moms need to share family and home obligations with their partner or spouse. Women have made great strides toward equality in the workplace, but not at home. Household chores largely fall on the mothers’ shoulders–but these tasks and parenting responsibilities should be divided equally. Women will never have time for themselves until they can achieve this balance at home. Women should schedule their free time in advance otherwise it might not happen. It requires planning and cooperation with their spouse or partner. Each person’s free time can be scheduled and agreed on–and both must commit to making it happen.

Philly Women’s March Attracts 50,000 Concerned Citizens

Yesterday, I attended the Women’s March in Philadelphia. It was a historic event to witness. I did not have kids with me. It was such a friendly crowd, I worked my way up to the front line behind the gate. I watched the inspiring speakers and took some notes. #womensmarchphiladelphia

Emily Morse, one of the local organizers, is a mom of three and full time worker who is going to Villanova at night for further education. A sexual assault survivor, she thought, “We cannot accept this.” Emily read about the DC women’s march, noticed many of her local friends wanted to attend and bring their children, so she decided to launch a march in Philly.

Morse launched a Facebook page for the Philly March, which turned out to be 50,000 strong. “Women’s rights are human rights. Demand equality for womanhood. This movement won’t be stopped,” she told the crowd.

Raising the wage was mentioned by many of the speakers, including Donna Bullock, a representative for the 195th District at Pa House of Representatives.

Salima Susswell, an Advisory Board member for the Council on American Islamic Relations – Philadelphia Chapter, said God’s plan is superior to that of man. Her local chapter vows to fight vs. oppression against Muslims, who comprise 250,000 in Philly alone. Susswell spoke about standing vs. hate crimes and vicious rhetoric.  

Brenda Dunston, mother of slain Sandra Bland, spoke of her need to close a painful chapter in her life. Her daughter was a 28-year-old African American woman who died in a Waller County, Texas jail cell in 2015. Bland’s family won a settlement in a wrongful death civil lawsuit. Dunston will be going on a 40 city tour nationwide to promote her book and calling.  

Malcolm Kenyatta, political commentator and member engagement coordinator for the Greater Philadelphia Chamber of Commerce, was another rousing speaker. “The battle will be hard, but now is the time to endure. The value of equality will endure,” he said.

Kenyatta said they will not be silent when you could become bankrupt if you got sick without healthcare coverage.

Terri Matthews of Jaden’s Voice advised Hillary Clinton on her autism policies. Jaden’s Voice is a non-profit that offers support for autistic children and their families. “We stand here because our children mean something,” Matthews said. She added that families are dying (committing suicide) because no one cares about their concerns.

City councilwoman Helen Gym spoke about marching for those rebuilding the city public schools, fighting for higher wages and immigrant rights and defending Muslims. Gym noted that they fight against Comcast’s opposition of the city’s pay equity bill. This bill aims to curb hiring discrimination, particularly for women and minorities, and would prevent employers from asking job applicants about past salaries.

Nellie Fitzpatrick, Director of LGBT Affairs for the city, appeared with her wife, and spoke of the city’s efforts to fight discrimination against LGBT individuals. She said violence against transgender people has to stop. 

Time for New Year’s Resolutions

The New Year is here, what are your resolutions?

Here are a few of mine:

  1. Obtain new clients. Every year, I assess the past year for my business—what worked and what didn’t. I value the work from repeat and long-term clients. It’s tough when a contract is not renewed, but that is the life of a consultant. It’s best to have a mix of clients, rather than rely on one or two for your income.
  2. Exercise! Last month, I cut my gym membership to the local YMCA because I just was not going. My exercise right now consists of dropping and picking up the kids from school, and running them around to different activities. That has to change.  
  3. Cut unnecessary expenses. I enjoy supporting local Moms in their business endeavors. I will buy their books at book signings and listen to their talks and discussions. I’ve purchased essential oil kits and skin regiments to help these Moms boost their businesses. I stopped using essential oil; the skin regiment might be the next one I cut. If a product is not working for you, why continue it?  
  4. Build my support network. There’s an evening event I want to attend later this month, and a neighbor is watching the kids until my husband can pick them up after work. I promised her I would return this favor. If you don’t have family in the area, you may have to ask another parent or neighbor to assist. Another mom walks one of my daughters over to CCD class every week. This saves me an amount of time that is much appreciated. When someone offers to help you, accept it! I walk a daughter’s friend over to a CCD class every week and do not expect anything in return. The saying “Give and you shall receive” is so true.    
  1. Evaluate time spent—meetings, product demos, etc. When you are a consultant, time is money. What monthly activities can you eliminate to add more time to your schedule? Are you committed to too many meet-ups? Should you scale back on the volunteer work?    

With a Barnes & Noble gift card, I recently bought “Fresh Start: The New You Begins Today” by Joel Osteen. Looking forward to some inspirational reading.    

Here’s to our success! Happy 2017!  

Image courtesy of Supertrooper at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Resources for Your Family in Philadelphia after a Birth Injury

As parents ourselves, we can say with confidence that there is nothing more important to us than the health of our children – a truism for all parents. Equally so, there is nothing more devastating than thinking about our children being injured. Sadly, for many parents in Pennsylvania and throughout the United States, birth injuries are a serious threat to the wellbeing of their child. Often the result of medical malpractice, a birth injury can impair a child for life, leaving them with injuries ranging from nerve damage affecting motor abilities to cognitive disabilities to scarring and disfigurement. When an injury results, parents should be able to turn to other parents, legal support, medical professionals, and various organizations for support and counsel.

In Pennsylvania, there are a number of these resources, as this map of birth injury resources in Philadelphia demonstrates. This post is brought to you by the law offices of Cohen, Placitella & Roth, P.C.

Medical Treatment for Birth Injury Victims

The most important thing after a birth injury occurs is ensuring that your child receives the medical care that they need to improve their chances of recovery moving forward. Throughout the city of Philadelphia, a parent can find a number of medical treatment centers that specialize in working with children, including children who have suffered a birth injury. Some of these include:

● Shriners Hospital – 3551 N. Broad Street, Philadelphia
● CHOP Newborn and Emergency Care – 1201 Newtown-Langhorne Rd., Langhorne
● Pediatria Healthcare for Kids – 8101 Washington Ln., Wyncote

Behavioral and Cognitive Health Services

Children whose brains have been impacted by a birth injury may suffer from cognitive or behavioral development delays or other complications as they grow. When this is the case, seeking professional behavioral and cognitive health services can be incredibly useful. Some top recommendations include:

● Children’s Behavioral Health Services – 160 Devereux Rd., Glenmoore
● Autism Centers of Excellence – 499 Spring Gardens Street, Philadelphia
● Devereux Advanced Behavioral Health Pocono – 1547 Millcreek Rd., Newfoundland

Resources for Parents of Children with Special Conditions and Disabilities

If your child’s birth injury is severe, you may have questions that extend beyond seeking additional help for behavioral problems or physical therapy to restore motor abilities. If your child has any special conditions, there may be a resource for you within Philadelphia. Organizations and resources for parents of children with special conditions and disabilities that can be found in or around the city include:

● United Cerebral Palsy
● Kelley Anne Dolan Memorial Fund
● Library for the Blind and Physically Handicapped
● The PEAL Center
● Sunshine Foundation National Headquarters
● HMS School for Children with Cerebral Palsy

The above list is not complete; refer to the link above for a full map of resources.

Getting Legal Help after a Birth Injury

If your child is the victim of a birth injury, another thing to think about is your right to seek legal counsel, to potentially pursue a claim against the at-fault doctor. At the law offices of Cohen, Placitella & Roth, P.C., experienced Philadelphia birth injury attorneys know what it takes to recover the compensation that your family deserves. To learn more, contact today for your free case consultation by visiting their website here: https://cprlaw.com/pa/philadelphia/birth-injury-attorney/.

injury

Giveaway for a Premium Family Pass to the First Annual Philadelphia Baby & Family Expo

Did you get your tickets to @achildgrows 1st annual #PhillyBabyFamilyExpo October 16, 2016?

We are happy to be a media partner for A Child Grows’ First Annual Philadelphia Baby & Family Expo in Center City. The expo will welcome new, expectant and seasoned parents and kiddos!

Exhibitors will showcase products and services covering all phases of life, whether you’re a new or experienced parent!

The First Annual Philadelphia Baby & Family Expo℠ will connect top local and national service providers with savvy expectant, new and experienced parents. This family-friendly event will showcase invaluable resources and products in an exciting and convenient location in the heart of Center City, Philadelphia.

The expo will have seminars, demos, crafts and awesome playroom happenings throughout the day. Be sure to follow them on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram to hear the amazing details as we get closer to the event!

We are giving away a Premium Family Pass to the expo (valued at $150). Enter your contact info below for a chance to win!

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Summer camp trips with your kids

Earlier this week, I had the pleasure of accompanying my kids on their camp trip to Clementon Park. Last year, I went on this excursion with them so I knew what to expect. With other city camps there, it would be packed. There would be long lines.

I know some parents keep their children home from these crowded events. I was game for another trek over to Clementon.

In my opinion, here are some benefits of taking time away from work and going on summer camp trips with your children:

• They’re only young once. I hear this again and again from other parents: “It goes by in the blink of an eye.” Nothing gives me greater pleasure than running around an amusement park with my kids. When they are older, I won’t have this opportunity so I can look back on these happy memories of their youth.

• You develop friendships with other parents. I have made friends with some other Moms by taking my girls on trips and to events. I like to get the girls together with their friends – and look forward to catching up with my Mom friends.

• This is their time to have fun and relax before the school year starts. When my kids start school again, they will have nightly homework, tests and some afterschool activities. There is a lot of pressure on kids these days. The summer is a chance for them to stay up later, spend more time outside at the pool or beach, for example, and just be silly kids.

As the summer winds down to a close, enjoy the last weeks with your spouse and/or partner and children before school is in full swing again.

Career Wardrobe offers deals on clothing to empower people to work

Earlier this month, I attended Career Wardrobe’s annual reception and silent auction #HopeOntheMove. Last year, I enjoyed networking with other local women professionals and supporting this worthy cause. I decided to attend this event again.

Career Wardrobe is a non-profit that uses clothing and professional development to empower unemployed individuals to work. The Boutique provides professional clothing to individuals in transition. Job seekers can shop at no cost with a referral or for a small fee if they are not receiving government assistance. In Philadelphia, the Boutique is open to public where shoppers can find deals on women’s designer and modern clothing with sales supporting the non-profit.

Career Wardrobe recognizes that everyone may need help at some point in their working lives, and thus expanded their programming to meet the needs of the community. In 2015, they opened their doors to men with the Make It Work for Men program, providing dressing services to men in order to assist them in presenting a smart first impression.

The annual evening event includes a Hope Walk of community leaders and local media personalities modeling professional outfits on a fashion runway.

I realized my own wardrobe was in need of an upgrade, as I meet with clients or prospects on occasion face-to-face. So on my birthday, I left my kids with my husband and walked over to The Boutique at 1822 Spring Garden Street to do some shopping.

What a pleasant surprise. I tried on some outfits and in under 40 minutes, I left with three dresses, a pair of jeans and a dressy top. The price tag was a bargain for these five items. I was happy to find this deal on my birthday. The staff was super friendly as well.

I now feel prepared for when I have a future meeting. Yeah! I don’t have to scramble at the last minute for a suitable outfit. I encourage women seeking a wardrobe upgrade—both working and stay-at-home–to check the store out.

I’ll definitely return to The Boutique in the future!

Career Wardrobe partners with community and government agencies to reach those in need of its services throughout Southeastern Pennsylvania. The social enterprise is the regional provider of the PA WORKWEAR program, giving women on public assistance access to professional clothing for job search, training, and work.

Career Wardrobe operates Boutiques in Philadelphia, Chester, and Bristol, PA. Clothing donations are accepted Monday through Saturday in Philadelphia, Fridays in Chester, PA and monthly at partner locations in East Falls and Haverford, PA.

Interview with ROC United’s National Research Director

Due to the power of the National Restaurant Association, the federal tipped minimum wage has been frozen at $2.13 an hour since 1991. As a result, tipped restaurant workers — overwhelmingly women — use food stamps at double the rate of the rest of the nation’s workforce, and are three-times as likely to live in poverty.

A dismal 20 percent of restaurant jobs pay a living wage, and women, people of color, and immigrants are often excluded from these living-wage positions, as reported by Anya Sacharow (April 26, 2013), “Why Don’t More Foodies Care About Restaurant Workers?” Time.

Seventy percent of servers are women. Since a living wage is not guaranteed, and women are forced to depend on tips, they frequently have to put up with sexual harassment from customers, coworkers, and management. The EEOC has targeted the restaurant industry as the single largest source of sexual harassment charges filed by women with a rate five times higher than other industries. See more at: http://rocunited.org/one-fair-wage/#sthash.ETQZGHse.dpuf.

Restaurant Opportunities Centers (ROC) United’s mission is to improve wages and working conditions for the nation’s restaurant workforce. Teofilo Reyes, ROC’s National Research Director, said that in general, ROC sees a very high rate of wage and hour violations for immigrant workers — individuals not being paid overtime as high as 60 percent and individuals who are forced to work off the clock without pay, and work eight hours straight without a break, each in the 40 percent range.

“For immigrants who tend to work in the back of the house (kitchen) in major cities, there really is no such thing as a break. Even more broadly in the restaurant industry, the people who take breaks are the people who smoke and there is this unwritten acceptance of smoking as a way to take a break,” said Reyes.

Reyes acknowledged that ROC sees restaurant owners accumulating wealth while their employees are not paid a living wage — either the minimum wage or slightly higher depending on the local market. Nationally, the median wage for restaurant workers is $9.20 per hour, according to the Bureau of Labor Statistics.

There are times when there are overtime violations when the minimum wage goes below the hourly rate or when employees are forced to work off the clock. “A lot of work is done off the clock — when they come into work before their shift starts and then they clock out at the end of their shift and then there is work required to do before they can leave. Overtime and minimum wage violations come from that,” he said.

With tipped workers, ROC sees a lot of tip shaving, “workers needing to provide a certain percentage of their tips to management so they are not allowed to retain their tips. That is where the greater wage and hour violations come from,” said Reyes.

A small group of restaurant owners bring workers over to the U.S. themselves. Some undocumented workers qualify as victims of human trafficking.

There are places that force people to come in and live at the restaurant — “workers accumulate a certain amount of debt to the restaurant to come to the U.S. and then have to pay that debt off to the restaurant. Many of these workers will sleep in housing paid for by the restaurant, and have to work around the clock,” said Reyes.

There is a much higher percentage of undocumented workers working in the industry but that would not necessarily qualify as victims of trafficking. Trafficked workers are “a very vulnerable population, if owners themselves have been involved in bringing them in or helping them pay their way to a trafficker to get them there. The workers have a debt they are required to pay; if they are not able to pay, their families at home might be liable to pay what the owners see as their debt,” he said. This does occur, but the majority are undocumented workers who don’t have documentation and might not speak out about bad working conditions and more common forms of exploitation. This is a different exploitation than the trafficking cases.

Reyes shared these national tiplines for reporting immigrant abuse: National Network for Immigrant and Refugee Rights: 510-465-1984; an OSHA hotline: 1-800-321-OSHA (6742); National Human Trafficking Hotline: 888 3737 888; National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-7233. Unitedwedream.org is also a good resource.

Image courtesy of David Castillo Dominici at FreeDigitalPhotos.net